Lets get some facts straight here … This is my story .
I fell for a guy when I was in class 9 . I pursued the relationship . At least I thought it was love because everyone does that at that age. We basically talked on phone. We promised each other, everything (Hell! I was small did not know what everything means). I had a fun ride for two years we just talked on phone and it was long distance. But yeah, this guy and I completed each other’s sentences. He could be called the perfect package, I mean he was funny and read books. (I mean you don’t find this combination!)
Flash forward! I was heartbroken when he left me, never anticipated that he will.
Now I will call him a jerk ( I mean that is subjective but more or less.)
In my second relationship which I ended today, was bit more interesting .
He was almost the perfect guy for me.
First few months of relationship was heaven , he did everything that a girl could ask for ,he had the same emotional needs as mine. ( BTW this combination is kind of rare, guys generally have lower emotional needs than a girl! )
I was very happy for 3 years because he was a complete man ,he cared for me ,he loved me ,he cried for me a lot of times.
Now lets see why he was a jerk and why I fell for him.
He had issues like, he was just using me to ward off his loneliness. ( HOW DO I KNOW? well! we met at a time when he was kind of low and alone .) Ladies, do not pity a guy and fall for him just because he is depressed, I mean it will be your first instinct but stop.
Look for red flags, he would do some mistakes ( I was too late, I mean I gave in too quickly but don’t let yourself fall in love quick ) In my case he made out with a colleague in first few months of relationship. He apologized, cried but here is some advise - keep your head high and have the strength to walk away.
Most importantly when we discussed about getting married (This is few months back). He gave me these terms to be met :
I will live with my parents ,I wont move out. ( To which I asked that don’t you feel that I would miss my parents too? To which he replied - That is how it is in India!, Girls go to husbands house after marriage.)
He told me ( yes told!) that he will have a big fat Indian wedding where he wants the bride’s family to spend crores .
When I told this that this is unfair he told me “ This has always been his parent’s dream and he wants it to come true. ”
Now why we was jerk we choose-
Yes , because we are jerks , we do not identify that nice guy trying to talk to us, shying around.
We get a lot of attention from jerks. They make us feel like the happiest woman alive. We fall for the facade.
Once we figure it out and even find a nice guy well we go for the guy who is giving us more attention, pleasing us with valentine. It is natural for a human to go to a person who cares more ( Even if it is not real).
An advise to nice guys out there:
No matter how you look or how dull you ! We only ask for you to be genuine and put in efforts . There are girls out there who appreciate it and will love you for an eternity.
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